What is a Healing Separation?

Marital separations often come at the peak of emotion, where undesired issues come to a head and partners feel desperate to reject their spouse at all costs. Separation is a time of feeling reactive and triggered, no matter if the decision is a mutual agreement or one-sided.

One mistake that couples make when separating is making major decisions in the midst of an emotional crisis. If you are recently separated, perhaps a healing separation might help you make some decisions as to the next healthy steps to take.

What is a Healing Separation?

As referenced by Bruce Fisher, Ed.D. and Robert E. Alberti, Ph.D. authors of Healing When Your Relationship Ends, a healing separation is a mutual agreement to pursue personal growth and healing opportunities as an option to restore the relationship before it is dissolved. Like the old-style "trial separation," it involves living apart for a while, with the decision on whether or not to end the relationship put off until some future time.

A separation agreement can be used to define the terms of the separation as agreed by both partners, such as living arrangements, personal growth opportunities, finances, child care responsibilities and timeline of separation. Professionals suggest that ownership and titles for cars, homes, etc. not be changed until a decision has been made about the future of the love relationship. Separation of bank accounts can be considered to ensure personal security. These terms are intended to give the married partners an opportunity to explore life apart without feeling the urgency to break the bonds of marriage.

Experts say that a healing separation ideally should include some quality time together on a regular basis so that these personal explorations can be shared and mutually understood.

With a healing separation, couples attend therapy sessions separately or together discovering new skills in compassion, communication, and conflict resolution. Your Healing Separation might even be designed to resolve a personal inner crisis that needs space to come to the surface. No matter the approach that separating couples choose for themselves, they can be comforted knowing that their healing separation is a more constructive, mutual and creative alternative to a hasty divorce.

Some excerpts from The Healing Separation - By Bruce Fisher, Ed.D. and Robert E. Alberti, Ph.D. authors of Healing When Your Relationship Ends.

Jenna Forrest is an experienced intuitive empowerment coach working internationally with clients wanting resolve their deepest inner conflicts. To learn more or to write to Jenna with questions, visit www.jennaforrest.com